I am responsible for my current state

Sometimes it doesn’t feel good at all. Lately I have developed this strangeness which is acceptable in case of people who are new to it. My experience in going through such situations has been tremendous. So this strangeness appears rather weird. In being true to myself I realized that I have admitted to the fact that my perplexed state of mind is nothing but my skill of indecisiveness. So when I say that I don’t feel good I also know that I am responsible for it. I see people so bold and confident, those ready to take utmost risk and even pump in that extra bit or may be even more to achieve what they dreamt of. Some think ahead of time and reach the milestones faster than others and some just run late. There are a privileged few who can just dream of anything and there a few for whom whatever they think of becomes a dream.

The rest fall in to a category called middle class, where the ability to take risk is forfeited in the memorandum of understanding for life. And so they dream when they sleep and lead a very secure and calculated life. And when they die, we say a good man is dead. I have spent more than two decades of my life just thinking about how good I would feel when I would achieve a certain something. Just that thought lets me sleep well.

Lately when I get up in the morning I hate myself, normally I feel lazy even to do that. It’s a combination of an inherited sense going steady in life averting every possible risk and feeling great about average success. The second thing is the subtle overconfidence that above par capabilities would yield even in the worst case scenario at least at par results. I may be happy in what I do now but the thought of the things that I wish to do makes me happier. So when I say that I don’t feel good I also know that I am responsible for it because I do nothing about it.

Survive the pink slip

You're about to get fired. Don't panic. Sure, you're set to take a blow, but with a little planning, you can minimise the pain and end up with a better life. Here's your guide to doing just this.

1. Don't get ambushed

The moment it even crosses your mind that you might get canned, get ready.

• Copy your computer address book and contact information onto your home computer.

• Make a list of everyone you'd call if you got fired, and call them now-while you have a job. Just call to say, "Hi, how's the family?"

• Make sure you have a six-month money cushion. The banks won't help you once you've lost a job. "What you may be able to get is a personal loan but at high interest against collateral such as your house or gold," says Preeti Monga, director, Silver Linings, New Delhi.

• Update your resume on the job portals.

• Discuss your job status with somebody in authority. Be direct. Do it before the rumours start making you uneasy. This way, you'll have a reinforcement plan in place without pressure.

2. Channelise the shift neatly

There is a need to be convinced that you are managing the unforeseen efficiently, so set milestones:

• A worthy effort to retain your current job. When D-day arrives, market your worth to the management for one last time. Mention anything that may give you the slightest leverage. Don't give the impression that you are ready to submit your papers.

• A convenient exit if the efforts fail. Be prepared. When you are sure that the goat will be slaughtered, shift your focus for a smoother exit. Hold your head high.

• Make sure your manager gives you strong references and recommendations.

• Maintain an affable connection with the HR. Oh yes! Keep the doors open.

• Set up a budget for the upcoming months. A precise and consolidated budget holds the key to stay balanced. Married or single, reprioritise your vital financial needs. It pays to be prudent.

• Be extra cautious with your credit card expenses. It's not easy to pay your bills when you don't have steady income. In fact, try to clear off the debt while you still have a job.

• Lower your personal cost of living noticeably. Take a careful and close look at your regular monthly and quarterly expenses. Tightening your belt for a bit at a time like this is a good idea.

3. Don't hit the panic button just yet

"A lost job doesn't mean that you need to wallow in self pity," says Dr Smita Pandey, senior research psychologist, Cogtest Services Pvt Ltd. People, especially those in the age group of 25 to 35 tend to go into bouts of depression when they lose a job. And they don't necessarily wait until they've been let go. They can start feeling blue when the news of cutbacks are just rumours. However, unforeseen circumstances also kick in the ability to reinforce a new plan of action.A confident approach towards fighting the odds keeps the ball rolling in your favour. Tell yourself a zillion times that you can't afford to sit and crib. "Don't lose heart, and don't be ashamed", says Dr Pandey.Remember the guy who was the life of the party? Yeah, so you buried that side of you under that mountain of work. Now's the time to get in touch with him again. Take the time you have between jobs to catch up with family and friends. They've gotten used to not having you around, so it's time to reclaim your spot as the king.

4. Follow your dreams

The time's also perfect to resurrect lost dreams. Follow your instincts to be somebody you always wanted to be. "Rekindling your aspirations serves as a great stress-buster and allows for freedom of thought and imagination," says Dr Pandey. There's plenty of time at hand. Write, join the gym, take up a sport you've never played, sketch; pursue anything that ignites your passion. Stuff that power suit in the almirah, pull on some jeans, an old shirt and try your hand at sculpting if that's what you've wanted to do. Just remember that it's never too late to start over. All the better if it brings in an income.